Repeating the same patterns
When we’re searching for an answer; for a way forward; or feeling stuck—the answer that we’re looking for is always in the pain..
The pain is usually the core wound. It’s a pain that has been there for as long as you can remember and keeps reminding you that it is still there.
The only way out of the wound is through the pain. The pain is the portal. We have to go through the pain to find what we’re looking for.
What we’re looking for inside the wound is ourselves. The gift as well as the answer is in the wound. The gift is that we find ourselves working through our wound.
And then the way we show up in the world is illuminated by the wound, which we’re familiar with.
Meanwhile, the problem is that the psyche, culture, and society is always keeping us away from our wound because it’s frightening:
I don’t want to feel it. It’s not that broken. Just push through.
I only need to just understand what’s going on.
I shouldn’t have to feel difficult feelings.
Why is this so much work?
And at some point in our life, the pull towards the need to stop repeating the same pattern again and again is so strong, you do not care, you really have to do something differently.
That’s a sign that you’re ready.
You’re ready to turn your perspective from the outer world inside. To give as much, if not more attention and commitment to the inner journey as you did with the outer world.
Although sometimes it’s uncomfortable, ultimately it is the most beautiful journey that any human can go on. It’s the journey to the self.
Below is an example of what processing can look like:
Resistance→awareness→resistance
Resistance→awareness→reflection→resistance→willingness→processing
Resistance→awareness→reflection→willingness→resistance→processing
I just need to understand what is going on.
I just need to understand what is going on.
Resistance
I can't believe this is happening again.
Why is this happening?...Again!
I can't believe this is happening again. Why is this happening?...Again!
Awareness
Reflection
How does this feel familiar to what I previously felt and experienced?
Every time I experience a trigger, it is reflective of something that has been incomplete in some way?
How does this feel familiar to what I previously felt and experienced? Every time I experience a trigger, it is reflective of something that has been incomplete in some way?
Willingness
I am feeling triggered.
I need to take three breaths.
I am feeling triggered. I need to take three breaths.
Processing
